Alright, I have to tell some good jokes.....
Dr. Button told this one in Cryptology today:
A mathematician and an engineer were riding in a train and they passed a herd of cattle in a field. The mathematician glanced out the window and said, "There were 438 cows in that herd!" The engineer replied, "Incredible! How did you do that so quickly?" The mathematician replied, "Very easy. You just count the number of legs and divide by four!"
Probably the most famous mathematician joke:
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street
cafe. They see two people going into a house across the street. Time passes. After awhile they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again."
And one I just discovered that is very very good:
The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply." A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?" "Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."
And one very enjoyable non-mathematical pun:
How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs?
When you step in a poodle.
Masterful!
P.S. Oh, hey, here is a math pun!
Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?
A: Möbius Dick...
Oh, hey, I just thought of one! Here goes:
Suppose ε < 0 . HAHAHAHA! HA! HA! Hee hoo hooo heehee heh. Whew!
:)
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